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Kevin Schmidt's Views on Bullying.

Has anyone read Kevin Schmidt's facebook conversation about bullying? Cuz, while i agree to a point, there's something inherently flawed there, imo. But, damn, am i glad he's talking about it!
I basically think he's putting too much of his life experience on others. A lot of people don't have the support system in their lives that make it possible for them to 'Smile through the Punches.'
I do think he's right that victims do not need sympathy, but confidence.
http://www.facebook.com/kevingschmidtOFP/posts/148234978552764

Now compare with his Unnatural History costar, Jordan Gavaris tweet's on the subject.
http://twitter.com/JordanGavaris

Thoughts? I'd really like to hear them, regardless of whether you agree or are in the fandom.

Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
gingerberrycat
Oct. 12th, 2010 03:55 am (UTC)
I've been trying to force my friend into a conversation about it and we basically agreed with everything you just said (with the exception of neither of us being as aware of how STRONG a support system he has).
And both do have valid opinions, but i think Jordan is maybe slightly more aware of how tough things can be for others. Maybe personal experience, but i can't say for sure.
As for if he's out? I don't think so, but it does feel like he might be. I say feel because i can't claim anything beyond that.
(Deleted comment)
gingerberrycat
Oct. 12th, 2010 04:22 am (UTC)
That's really interesting on the first part. I'm so happy they have that support in their lives.
And as for Jordan, all i can say is i totally agree. This all does seem very personal for him. I follow a lot of the nick/cartoon network/disney stars (cuz i have no life) and while some have shown support, i've not seen anyone put it the way he did. It definitely felt PERSONAL from him.
moonspoken
Oct. 12th, 2010 04:00 am (UTC)
I am actually kind of torn on this issue.
On the one hand I hate our society's tendency to victim blame. Like, it isn't up to the victim to stop what is being happened to them, it's the perpetrator. This is why I hate it when people say to girls like "don't wear short skirts" or "don't go walking at night" because it shouldn't be the girl's responsibility to prevent an attack (see: this)

But at the same time I think that what Kevin is trying to do, no matter how clumsily, is like-- motivate the victim. Like, a no matter what they do don't let it get you down kind of thing. And I mean, as callous as it sounds, he's right in some ways. The only person you can control is yourself. You can't control a fucked up society; you can work to change it. You can't control someone who is a bully; but you can control your own actions, in not contributing to it, or in, you know, surviving. I just wish that wasn't the only option!
gingerberrycat
Oct. 12th, 2010 04:08 am (UTC)
Ok, i can see that. Haha.
And it is fucked that that is the only option so often. Does it seem twisted that people are talking about Stomping Out Bullying, but there's not been as much mention of how we need to build up support systems so that surviving on your own isn't the only option?
I can be quite clumsy with wording myself, so i'm not gonna judge him on that.
moonspoken
Oct. 12th, 2010 04:42 am (UTC)
That's a really good point! We do need to set up better insular systems to protect people who don't have that.
gingerberrycat
Oct. 12th, 2010 04:46 am (UTC)
I don't think anyone would disagree with it, haha.
I'm just not sure many people would be willing to do what'd be necessary for that. It'd mean giving up free time/money, and not a lot of people are willing to do that.
chewableprose
Oct. 16th, 2010 02:52 pm (UTC)
Personally I took issue with "And SUICIDE is NEVER an option for a fighter!", because for many, the reason why bullying is such an issue is because it leaves the victim incapacitated and unable to fight back (or be a 'fighter'), largely because of the cowardice of bullies, who tend to travel in packs. I think that's why it has such a psychological and lasting impact, even when the bullying stops, sometimes the damage remains (even after the bruises have faded). While empowering those who are bullied is a nice idea, the message that if bullying makes you feel overwhelmed you must be weak, is counterproductive (just mho of course). Thanks for raising this.
gingerberrycat
Oct. 21st, 2010 04:08 am (UTC)
That was the part that took me out of it in the first place.
We'd already commented on the fact that Kevin seems to come from a very supportive family, and likely doesn't understand just what it's like to not have anyone there to keep you from falling.
How can you feel like you're worth fighting for if all you've ever known is feeling like you're not?
chewableprose
Oct. 22nd, 2010 03:01 am (UTC)
Exactly.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )